Tannery Road: A Tainey departure from MM Road

There are more people taking photographs of food on MM Road than there are people eating it.

I saw this with my own eyes as I drove by the Empire sponsored Ramzaan Tent at the corner of MM Road. To be honest, I know my cynicism for the current gastro-trend is somewhat misplaced. Maybe I’m even being a bit of an asshole, the non-conformist who doesn’t want to hang with everyone at Kebabbish and chomp on a stick chicken while turning the camera sideways for that perfect shot of a roasting kaadi of sheek kebab. The fake truth is, I really just want to avoid the crowds and have a peaceful iftar without photo-bombing someone’s Khaima Samosa. 

The real truth is, I have a big fucking problem with Patthar ka Ghosht. Firstly, that shit is never ever cooked properly. More so, when there are 200 people elbowing you in the ‘nads as they yell an order and crouch to capture the moment in digital memory. Secondly, I think that that stone needs to burn the whole day in a smith’s oven before even being roast grade ready. Your friendly neighbourhood Imtiaz from MM Road shoved coal under that rock just an hour before you decided to show up. It’s akin to trying to cook a chicken leg by holding it up in the Chennai sun. Salmonella poisoning is guaranteed. Lastly, and mostly, isn’t Patthar ka Ghosht a Hyderabadi thing? Jesus, 90% of the recommendations I got about what to eat this year at MM Road were Haleem and Patthar ka Ghosht. I was disappointed enough to take a walk. A long walk. About 2 kilometers from MM Road.

Into Tannery Road.

Located at the edge of Old Cantt, Tannery Road shares none of the colonial charm of its closest neighbourhood. Its reputation as a hotbed for criminal activity from the ‘80s and ‘90s precedes itself and the area does seem like a land still stuck somewhere in that timeline. People still buy hand pressed oil here, piped from a collection of brass taps at one of the only Oil Mills I have seen in Bangalore. Apart from one old video CD / DVD store along the 2 kilometer stretch of road we walked, there wasn’t a single mobile shop or even a supermarket. Evidently, those British Fellows only wanted to do full gujaals in the greenery around Cooke Town, Coles Road side and ensured that the leather for their boots came from as far away from their posh-noshes as possible. Back in 1914, they set up a Tannery on Shampura main road, which still stands today by the by, and it wasn’t long before the entire area saw an explosion of over 200 tanneries, all fed from the slaughterhouse at the beginning of BSA Main Road. Over 5,000 dalit families were brought here by the British from Venur, Madurai and Tirunelveli and put to work in the leather industry mostly without pay and contemporary consulting sector type work conditions. Over time, as the slaughterhouse shut and the tanneries closed down, Tannery Road and surrounding areas receded into symbols of neglect and squalor. Most folks kept away owing to the smells that permeated the entire area and soon it was here that criminal elements made murders and gang activity commonplace. Abu Shair, Koli Fayaz, Tanveer, Ishtiyak, Sajjad, Nazir, Tarakari Khaleel and Chappal Hamid were a few of the dons known for their notoriety and general gaandchaali. Lately though, things have improved and I was pleasantly surprised to find that traffic too had improved, a result of the opening of the flyover at Wheeler Road I’m sure.

After Le Konch indicated his willingness to accompany me on a gastro-sojourn into the depths of Tannery Road, I knew that I wasn’t the only one looking for a new and improved version of MM Road. A hipster version of MM Road, if there ever was such a thing. First stop, Wheel Kebab. Had at the same place from this post. You know that a Wheel Kebab stall is the real deal when he is still around after almost 5 years! What was really really special here though was the soup. A hot, salty, peppery monstrosity designed to make you water from every pore.

Delicious!

Just a little ahead from Affan Kebabka though is the real discovery of Tannery Road. I noticed it while we walked towards the Dargah as the one restaurant that was overflowing with people. After a disappointing search around the Dargah, Konchie and I made our way to one of the community tables at this kebab place, whose name shall be held back for reasons of utmost secrecy. To find it, you’re going to have to walk down Tannery Road and find the only kebab place with a crowd of atleast 200 people outside with longitudinal seating and a vat the size of a small water tank.

At this point, I think it is relevant to mention that Konchie isn’t much of a red meat person, or has been recently initiated into the red meat zone from his otherwise health conscious ways. Also, he isn’t really much for slumming it out and reserves it for special occasions. Before leaving he had made it clear to me that he would nibble of my plate and mutter dislikes as and when appropriate. By the time we were done, we had had a full plate of chicken kebab, a kaadi of sheekh, one theethar (quail), two plates of veal kebab, two phals and one soup. It was some of the best kebabs in the city. At one point in time, Konchie even said, “This chicken kebab is even better than Impees!”

He might not have been kidding.